God is “never done” with us!

no 4 048As we drove 2000 miles to Colorado, we felt some apprehension.  We are trained as pastoral counsellors and have been helping people for over 25 years, but we had never experienced going for official counselling as a couple. Although we did not know what to expect, we were both certain this adventure was a special appointment with God.  God had graciously saved our marriage 10 years before we became Christians. Since that time of Recnociliation with God, He has been faithful and loving to show us His plan for marriage and family. We have been on a journey of ongoing réconciliations and sanctification. We realize that “God is never done” with us.

Donald: “I thought we were doing well as a couple because I compared us to the damaged people  we helped.  Keeping very busy doing ministry had become an obstacle that prevented me from looking properly at our marriage and investing in it.   My wife and I knew something was missing. My wife was hurting silently and I felt totally inadequate to step in and take leadership in the areas of emotional intimacy and communication.”

Lorraine: “When John Regier, director of Caring for the Heart ministry came to Quebec, the teaching exposed my deepest longings. I wanted to emotionally connect with my husband. In our week of personal counselling, I discovered my husband’s pain and emotional damage.  It helped me to understand the ways he responded daily to those wounds.  For myself I learned how past wounds damaged my heart and led me to become dominant, angry while demanding for my expectations to be fulfilled. Although my husband knew he had some pain inside, he was surprised to realize that he underestimated most of it and had disassociated from the pain causing interference in our relationship. The counsellor  began to lead us in a conversational praying experience in which we could sense the presence of Jesus unlocking my husband’s heart.  I was taught how to penetrate my husband’s hurting locked heart. This language of the heart and intimate way of praying with Jesus was new for us.”

Donald: “I found out that my heart was locked to the point I could not care for the deepest needs of Lorraine. This made me feel shame and guilt for my lack of spiritual leadership. I often felt inadequate in communicating and felt pressure to have intimate time with my wife. This hurt her, making her feel neglected and not cared for.  I had learned to cautiously cover my pain by keeping busy helping people in the ministry.”

Lorraine: “In our marriage, we didn’t know the language on how to care for each other’s heart. We sometimes felt trapped and pushed each other’s emotional pain buttons which led us to suffer in silence.  Jesus has set us free and we began a major turning point in our Christian journey.  Yes, once more God is showing us that He is not finished with us.”

Donald: “It is not that our theology was wrong; it is that God revealed to us a new window of the Gospel – the language of the heart as emotional being designed by God.  We experience the healing presence of Jesus who can set blind and captive people free from their hidden wounds. We are learning to care to each other’s heart and to build a renewed trust. We now enjoy and cherish praying together in the intimacy of our hearts and in the loving, caring and healing presence of Jesus.”

It is a new step in our journey as we learn to faithfully walk in emotional and spiritual maturity.  God willing and in His time, our desire is to help our hurting people in Quebec experience the same blessings.   We are looking forward to opportunities to lead them into Jesus’ hands and presence in order to experience His life transforming touch. (Luke 4: 18).

Donald’s burden is to counsel and coach pastoral couples and Lorraine to disciple and counsel women. In Quebec, we lost about 50% of our evangelical pastors in ther last 10-15 years. The f1rst two weeks we came back from summer training, eleven pastoral couples called Donald to schedule a week of counselling. God was confirming his direction!

–  Donald & Lorraine, September 2011.